So, yesterday was a real letdown, from a news perspective. I read this headline:
Dracula castle returns to bloodline
on CNN and got all excited, picturing Mr. and Mrs. Dracula swooping back into the old family place, capes and fangs intact. And, sure, maybe things were a little dusty, and the curtains had gone to hell, and the windows needed a truly epic washing job, but they were home. Sweet home! And, at this very moment, maybe Mrs. Dracula was nagging at Mr. Dracula, because he'd spent all day on the phone crowing to Count Chocula about his dope new crib, rather than unpacking the 52 boxes of heirloom impaling rods he'd brought out of long-term storage (for display purposes only!) But then they tell me that they're giving it back to some New York architect! And that the real Dracula never even lived there!
I tell you, CNN, this is the last time you set me up just to shoot me down. It's over between us. Over!
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