How To Talk To A Housewife (If You Must)

Attention!   Attention!   Red alert!   RED ALERT!

The disease against which Ann Coulter has been struggling so valiantly these many years, previously believed to be non-communicable, has infected Teri Hatcher.

Be vigilant!  Symptoms may include: The appearance of an infestation of snakes and vermin beneath the skin, feasting on one's reserves of body fat at a truly alarming rate, leading to an unmistakable, beady-eyed, Vulcan death stare and resulting, inexplicably, in the belligerent spouting of vicious and toxic political positions, coupled with an insatiable desire to flaunt one's noodle-esque physique.

Awareness is the best defense.  Lured by their diet staples of cigarettes, Pinot, and smack, these monsters are easily repelled by the mere presence of greasy fats or refined sugars.  The safest bet is to keep a large fries and a frosty shake close at hand at all times, in the interest of self-protection.

Comments

[wordgirl]

You're right, of course. I didn't think you could find a bigger publicity whore than Ann Coulter, but Teri Hatcher just might snatch that crown of Coulter's head. Coulter just likes to spew her venomous lies because she believes her own press. Also...most of the Republicans--by comparison--are ugly, so she thinks herself to be quite the catch. Teri Hatcher is just pathetic. Her desperate need to be in the limelight is obvious and a cry for help. She's just a hair's breadth away from pulling an Anne Heche and going completely nute.